Call me old and cantankerous. Call me obsessive too, probably. After being in EMS for a while now, like over a decade or so, Iíve become somewhat set in my ways.
No, not to the point where Iím not keeping up with cutting edge medic stuff or to the point where I wonít try out new fast food jointsÖ and heck, just today I even tried out a new way to clean the station bathroom using the hose and the truck brush.
You know that the ďWash and WaxĒ stuff we use to shine up the trucks works AWESOME on the porcelain goddess! I can see my reflection!
But I have definitely developed some Old Guy in EMS Pet-Peeves (or as you UK folks call them, ďFrumpydumplesĒ or something weird like that) and I just remembered that I have a blog that people come to read. Because of that, I think that Iím perfectly entitled to rant a bit on what my EMS pet-peeves are. Itís a beautiful thing, for me.
So, without further ado, in no particular order, here are some of Ckemtpís all time EMS pet peeves.
#14245 Swearing in front of a (member of the public)
Look, there are days where I can spew forth a string of sassy talk that would make Popeye blush. I get it from my mother (Sheís a saint). I also grew up in the country around farmers and got my start in a rural firehouse. I know how to swear with the best of emí (ď#$Q#$Ē See? There ya go). HoweverÖ.
IF YOU ARE AN ON-DUTY PUBLIC SAFETY PERSON DO FREAKING NOT SWEAR IN FRONT OF A PATIENT, THEIR FAMILY, OR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!!!
Itís not cool. Itís not ďJust how I talkĒ and I donít have to get used to it. People donít have to adjust to you. Youíre a professional, you have to adjust to them. When you do this, it not only makes you look like an ignorant ass (ahem) but it also makes ME look like one by shaping public perception of our profession.
Call me what you want to. I donít really care. It doesnít matter matter if weíre with a patient, at a facility in front of staff, or out in public having lunch. You are representing everyone, every EMS and public safety person. Act like it.
Do this in front of me and expect correction, immediately, in front of the patient. (Yes, itís that important). Swear in front of children and I might just have to hit you.
#3523 Encouraging the Refusal of Medical Assistance (RMA) before assessing and treating the patient
Hey, guess whatÖ I understand that youíre tired. I understand that youíve got better things to do today. I completely understand that youíre tired of running what you consider to be ďBSĒ calls all day.
But youíre an EMS professional, right? Youíre SUPPOSED to be sent to people who call 911. Yea, thereÖ I said it. Itís your FREAKING JOB to assess everyone who calls you to the BEST OF YOUR ABILITY before you give them a professional recommendation about what they should do. If you ask a person ďSo do you want to go to the hospital or what!?Ē angrily before you even, like, feel for a radial pulse or get a pertinent history and physical exam youíre NOT DOING YOUR JOB. Most patients WANT you to give them a recommendation on what you think they should do. Youíre an EMS professional, do just that.
If we told more people ďWell, Maíam/Sir I believe that whatís going on doesnít really warrant an ambulance trip to the emergency room. Iíll be happy†to take†you if thatís what you want me to do, but perhaps you could get better care by taking a trip over to the (Insert Local Urgent Care Clinic Here) or by calling your personal physician and telling the receptionist that a paramedic/EMT told you that you should be seen today, or (Insert locally specific alternative treatment path here)Ē we could defer a lot of what you consider to be ďBSĒ calls. Not everything is an emergency, but every patient deserves our professionalism, if not our respect. Itís our job and our duty to everyone. Yes, it really is. No, your argument doesnít hold water with me. You donít deserve to be so cynical.
Appropriately assess, treat, and make your decisions on behalf of every patient. Donít put your personal feelings in there. Itís not ethical. No, itís not. You want to be an EMS professional? Act like one and Earn It.
#7628 Not being EXTREMELY CAREFUL when handling the cot
Ok, this is a patient safety gripe. Have you ever dropped a patient while theyíre on†your cot? I have. I donít consider it to be my fault other than the fact that I was responsible by being one of the two people holding the cot at the time. Iíve never forgotten the look of horror on each and every one of their 4 faces. I. Felt. Terrible. It haunted me for weeks. It still does. Weíre supposed to protect our patients. To ĎFirst Do No Harmí†is somewhere†in our extended code of ethics. If youíre dropping people on your cot, youíre doing harm.
If I see you†absentmindedly wheeling the cot, I†will stop the cot, watch you continue walking until you wrench your arm out of itís socket, and then laugh under my breath. I will compel you to†pay frigginí attention to the cot and the patient before I move again. If you resume being absentminded, I will repeat.
If you donít know basic physics, which will tell you that the center of gravity for flipping a cot is†much smaller when the cot is travelling on†from side to side rather than from front to back, then you shouldnít handle a†cot. Yes, the cot wheels rotate 360degrees but that†does not mean that you can move the cot sideways. Move it in a straight line.†When you need to turn you stop,†rotate the cot†on its†axis, then move in a straight line again. †
Yes, I ended that paragraph with a period. There wasnít any more to say about that. Know what else there isnít much to say about? The fact that you WILL have BOTH hands on the cot when moving on anything less stable than a level hospital hallway. Thatís the only time you can use that little handle on the front of the cot. If youíre on ANY other surface, itís both hands on the cot.
Yes, that was another period. Trust me. Iím saving you years of torment and some lawsuits.
Alright. Todayís rant has gone on long enough. Thanks for reading! < /rant>
And yes, there will be more coming. I rant a lot. Itís one of the reasons I started blogging. Thank you for reading it.