I hate horror movies…

A while ago I walked into our crew lounge where the other members of my crew had just popped in some low-budget zombie flick. It was your classic “B-Movie” and had all the hallmarks of every good zombie show that I’ve ever seen. Gratuitous bloodshed by hapless victims? Check. The walking dead feasting on human flesh? Check. A few good looking zombified women? Check and Check. I watched it against my better judgment. I hate horror flicks for all of the above reasons, except for the good looking women of course. I have an annoying habit of taking on the characteristics of every movie that I watch for varying lengths of time. After watching Top Gun, for instance, I drove my car like a fighter pilot for a few days. After watching Star Wars I tried to use the force to get the TV remote from across the room when I lay down on the couch. After watching the South Park Movie I swore every other word. Really. So I don’t like horror flicks because I get scared like a little girl afterwards and I don’t like it.

Unfortunately though, I watched the whole thing like a doofus, knowing full well that I’d be having nightmares later.

Cue the call for the unresponsive seizure victim…

We went to an apartment complex where our patient had fallen into a seizure right by the inward swinging door to his apartment. He had fallen in a way that made it so his body was blocking the door and I could only swing it open a few inches, just enough for me to squeeze inside. He was pretty out of it, and wasn’t responding with anything but unintelligible grunts and groans.

Then, of course, he moved and shut the door, blocking it with his body and trapping me alone in his apartment with him while he was groaning on the floor.

Does it make me a scaredy cat because I thought I was going to be eaten by a zombie?

I hate horror flicks…


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Chris Kaiser aka "Ckemtp"

I am a paramedic trying to advance the idea that the Emergency Medical Services can be made into the profession that we all want it, need it, and know it deserves to be.

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