The High/Low siren, or the ďHi-LoĒ as the cool kids call it, is at not only the coolest thing ever to grace emergency response, but it is also the most effective warning tool ever invented. While it is sadly starting to be phased out of some brands of electronic sirens in recent times, this is mostly due to misunderstandings and is a sad reminder of the cynicism of the modern age. The Hi-Lo is not only highly effective, recognizable, and entertaining, but it has a good beat and you can dance to it. Itís use must be preserved and today, February 17th, 2011 has been declared ďNational Use Your Hi-Low Siren Setting for Some Reason DayĒ by the National Federation for Things Iíve Just Made Up (NFFTIJMU).
So, in observance of this groundbreaking and dare-I-say, highly relevant National Holiday, †the NFFTIJMU recommends that every emergency vehicle, nation-wide, utilize the Hi-Lo setting on their sirens exclusively today. It will add cheer to your responses, promote spontaneous dancing among the passengers inside your emergency vehicle (I mean, come onÖ who DOESNíT dance to the Hi-Lo?) and will let your community members know that youíre cool.
It is recommended by the NFFTIJMU that those crews operating emergency vehicles not-equipped with Hi-Lo settings on their sirens be required to only function as dialysis and hospital discharge units in observance of the national holiday, except for in cases of emergency.
-†††††††† Responding in an emergent fashion with the Hi-Lo siren makes an emergency responder -05% safer, and 110% cooler.
-†††††††† Transporting victims of cardiac arrest to an ER may never be appropriate without ROSC, but if you must, using the Hi-Lo has been shown to increase survival rates by 12% overall.
-†††††††† The Hi-Lo siren was invented by people WAY SMARTER than the people who invented the ďWailĒ and ďYelpĒ settings. They also have more fun at parties.
-†††††††† You canít help from dancing while driving while employing the Hi-Lo setting on the siren. What can the NFFTIJMU say?? Itís got a beat.
So in observance of the holiday, use emí loud and use emí proud! Play emí Hi and Play emí Lo!†
(Note: Donít believe any of this, just use the hi-lo)