Right in the Nick of Time: Patient Saves his Medic

 

04/01/2013 – Peoria, Illinois

Calling it “A save right in the nick of time” Paramedic Jules Slatterly thanked chronic system abuser Wade Fugman for waking her up at 03:37am last Thursday.

Paramedic Slatterly explains “We had been running pretty hard all day on our 24-hour shift, with around 11 calls between noon and 1am. I finished all of the reports I was down around 0300hrs and was finally able to catch some sleep in the bunk room.” She added “I was so tired I didn’t even take my boots off.”

But that’s when Paramedic Slatterly’s early morning took a turn towards the disturbing…

“We all know that when you’re chronically sleep deprived that you can sometimes have some weird dreams. Well that night, I was having me a doozy of a nightmare. First I was naked in my Freshman English class, then every boy who ever forgot to ask me out on a date came by to laugh at my lifetime income potential as an EMS provider. If I would have been awake I would have been in tears.” Paramedic Slattery stated as she described her nightmare that affected her short amount of sleep that night.

But that’s when Mr. Fugman stepped in for the rescue.

“I was hungry and there ain’t no food like hospital food fo when you’s hungry.” Mr. Fugman told us. “You know them little juice cups? I get most of my Vitamin C from those Cranberry ones. I can’t get enough of ‘um. So sure enough, my sciatica started actin’ right on cue and 911 is just a phone call away.” Mr. Fugman, who calls 911 at least “four or five times a week” stated that he didn’t know he was saving Paramedic Slatterly from her short-lived nightmare, but he said he wasn’t surprised.

“I give those ambulance drivers their workout, I do. Since my sciatica is so painful I can’t be bothered to walk down the stairs from my apartment, let alone walk out of my back bedroom and down the hallway. It’s not my fault that the elevator’s broken. Let them ambulance drivers earn all those millions they get.”

At press time, Paramedic Slatterly was only slightly hallucinating from sheer exhaustion while working at her second part-time job.

  • http://twitter.com/wishEMT yah trick yah

  • ALEX

    I don’t understand this story…. is something missing?

    • Ckemtp

      This was an attempt at humor based on the date of the post. I’m not the world’s best writer… and it shows :)

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Chris Kaiser aka "Ckemtp"

I am a paramedic trying to advance the idea that the Emergency Medical Services can be made into the profession that we all want it, need it, and know it deserves to be.

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  • Comments
    Jessica Krause
    Stop Feeding the EMS Tee Trolls
    I may take you seriously when you learn proper grammar and spelling. Until then, here's a lesson: It's either 'Don't take it TOO hard' or 'Don't take it To HEART' depending on what you were trying to say.... It's not 'fetal mind' it's 'feeble mind' and 'You're worried not 'your worries' If you are going…
    2015-05-22 18:49:00
    Mark Tyson
    Stop Feeding the EMS Tee Trolls
    Oh your that guy who thinks he stands out above all others in our profession and feels he has "seen the shit" LOL. Your "combat vet" and "20+ years" in EMS make you very suspect simply by how you just presented yourself. How old are you? Its seems those who say they have seen more…
    2015-05-22 18:22:00
    Joe Paczkowski
    Stop Feeding the EMS Tee Trolls
    Apparently someone is wearing them because people keep trying to sell them. I have to imagine if no one was buying them they'd be long gone by now. Am I blaming any of EMS's problems on a t-shirt? No, not by a long shot. However if I saw a medic wearing one of those shirts,…
    2015-05-22 17:58:00
    Shaxspear
    Stop Feeding the EMS Tee Trolls
    Didn't take long for the usual proverbial dick measuring post to come out. Thanks for your service, but you could use a healthy dose of professionalism. Of course people aren't wearing this garbage at work but if they're still wearing it in public, then it obviously identifies you as EMS. The shit is tacky, and…
    2015-05-22 15:59:00
    drkervorkianjr
    Stop Feeding the EMS Tee Trolls
    I spent 30 years as an EMT and I own a paddling shirt( did field testing for AED)plus a DNR t shirt worn only during drinking excursions at EMS conferences. Yup some of those shirts are dumb but what the heck it stimulates someone's economy. But here in the big city we have folks we…
    2015-05-22 15:03:00

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