The Natural Alignment Movement – Freedom of Choice from the Orthopedic Conspiracy

When Paramedic Christopher Downdike responded to a seemingly routine ambulance call the other afternoon, he never expected he would be coming face to face with a national movement made up of people who say they’re fighting for the health of their children and for their rights as parents to choose the medical care they feel is best.

Paramedic Downdike responded to a call for help from a local elementary school concerning an 11 year-old child who had fallen on their playground. School officials believed that the student had possibly broken his arm and had called 911 for assistance. Paramedic Downdike happened to be on duty that day, and responded to their call for help. He explains:

“When we arrived at the school, the staff waved us over to the playground where we found the child lying next to a swing set. He had jumped off of the swing and landed hard on his arm when he hit the ground. His forearm was bent in an unnatural angle and he had one of those fractures where it didn’t take an X-ray to tell that it was badly broken. The poor kid was really being a trooper about it too. He had to be in a lot of pain but he had put on a very brave face. I was really proud of him.”

The child put on a brave face, until his mother arrived.

“We checked the kid over for other injuries and didn’t find any. He hadn’t gotten knocked out and all of his vital signs were fine. He had good circulation and feeling below the broken area in his arm, so we really weren’t too concerned that he might lose the limb. We treated it with a simple splint and an ice-pack for pain. After we splinted the arm, the child appeared to be way more comfortable,” Downdike said.

But his mother had other ideas.

Downdike explains, “We were shocked when the child’s mother arrived at the playground. School staff had called her and we were expecting her to be happy that her child wasn’t more seriously injured. However, she was furious with us. She demanded to know why we had chosen to put a splint on her child’s arm and was absolutely livid that we had done so. She demanded that we take the splint off of the child immediately because she thought that we might be impeding the child’s natural energy flow or something like that. I’m really not sure what she was talking about.”

A growing movement:

The “Natural Alignment Movement” as they call themselves, are a group also known as the “Anti-Splinters” as they are called by most healthcare providers. They seek to end the practice of immobilizing fractured bones in such things as casts and other splinting devices because according to them, the splints are dangerous and cause harm.

Sophia Deerbird, a self-styled spokesperson for the Anti-Splinting movement explains, “Members of the Natural Alignment Movement believe that the body has a natural flow of energy along its bones and joints and that any and all trauma to these bones and joints creates a burst effect in the energy flow. This burst of natural energy has hard-to-measure, but definitive effects, usually manifested as pain or misalignment.” She continues by explaining that, “dampening this burst of the body’s natural energy with the application of a circumferential cast or splinting device has harmful effects that can affect a person’s body and overall energy field for years to come. Symptoms are subtle, but they are cumulative and powerful when they’re concentrated together.”

Sophia tells us that she completely understands the mother’s anger at Paramedic Downdike, whom she calls, “a tool of the orthopedic conspiracy.”

The practice of placing a “splint” on an injury is a medical practice that dates back to the earliest of all medical care. A splint is placed on an injury, such as a broken arm or leg, in order to keep the bones that are broken in proper alignment. It also protects the broken bones from moving and allows them to heal. In more modern times, physicians have placed their patients in hard, plaster casts that are usually worn for six or more weeks. However today, rigid casts made of fiberglass or other synthetic materials are worn by patients for the same time period.

Proponents of the practice say that broken bones must be kept in proper place and be protected from movement if they are going to heal properly. They also say that serious and dangerous health effects, such as a worsening of the fracture or loss of an arm or leg can result if the bones are not kept properly aligned. Splinting has been considered such as staple of injury care that it is taught in virtually all first-aid and emergency medicine classes from the Boy Scout First-Aid Merit Badge to Medical School.

Detractors of the practice state that the Orthopedic Conspiracy has been keeping knowledge of the secret energy flow from the public for hundreds, if not thousands of years, and that the body knows the right places for its bones to be. They say that splinting does not allow the body to heal itself in the manner in which it wants to heal.

Sophia Deerbird says “Who are we to say that the arm doesn’t want to be bent at a 45 degree angle from what the orthopods say is ‘normal?’ Who are they to say that they can block the body’s energy flow? And what about the so-called ‘safe’ materials they’re using in those ‘synthetic’ casts? I’ll bet they’re just riddled with toxic chemicals like toxins and such.”

We contacted Dr. Lance Severson, a pediatrician that runs a local practice for Syndicate Health System. When asked about his opinion on the “Anti-Splinter” movement he incredulously exclaimed: “What!?”

We explained Sophia Deerbird’s stance on the Natural Alignment Movement and he thoughts on splinting fractured bones. Dr. Severson listened to our explanation, and then had this to say: “What? Just no. No freakin way. First we have to deal with them whack-a-doodle anti-vaxxers and now this? I just, I just can’t, I mean.”

Dr. Severson chose to end the interview at that point, but referred us to Dr. Sherman, a chiropractic physician with an office located near the Mall off highway 47.

“Look, I’m a chiropractor. I’m not always in support of what the Allopathic doctors do to heal people, but this? This is just plain stupid. Can’t these people just use their brains? Please tell me this is a joke Seriously?”

Sophia Deerbird says that she’s committed to the anti-splinting movement and will be spreading the knowledge as far and wide as she can using her internet site and Facebook page, the Family Health Freedom from Splinting Network. “I just want people to be able to use their natural chi, or ki or whatever that energy flow is called. People can learn about it in my upcoming book, soon to be available on Amazon for $19.95. People can also read my newsletter which can be subscribed to at my website. It costs $10 per month, but the information is very worth it to me.”

When we asked Sophia about the parallels of her Anti-Splinting movement to the Anti-Vaccination campaigns, she exclaimed “What??? No way! We’re not like those people! They’re nuts!”

Arm in cast

Pictured: A possible tool of the Orthopedic Industrial Complex


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  • firefighter zero

    I think I will light some incense and drink some wine to get my chi or ki? flowing properly.

    • Ckemtp

      Dude… what? Everybody knows that it’s herbal tea mixed with amber ale that makes Ki flow….


  • Dallas Bond

    You silly western medical types. Chi is the body’s natural healing power. It is aligned with the harmonic balance of the universe. Ki is the body’s defensive energy. It is aligned with a different energy source, also from the harmonic balance of the universe, just a different part. Never get the two confused. If you focus your Ki in a broken limb, you end up slapping like an effeminate male in your next fight. Channeling your Chi into your signature power move can actually help your opponent instantly heal from your power strike thus leaving you vulnerable to a counter attack while you are turned around working the crowd after what should have been your moment of glory. In fact, this is so important that I have a reminder – “Ki is for killing, Chi is for chickens” embroidered on my Gi. Of course it is in Chinese and I can’t read a bit of it, but it still looks cool.

  • Ianto Jones

    Oh, dear G-d. This was hilarious, but I’m fighting not to find it dangerous as well — someone’s gonna share it on FB, and one of _their_ friends is going to send it to Bright Star MorningGlory Rainbow, who will send it to her YahooGroup, and someone there will reply that he *thinks* he broke _his_ wrist last year, but it healed just fine (and very quickly) without any treatment, and there will be a larger readership, including at least a few D-list celebrities, among which, two years from now, one will have a kid fall out of a tree and break her ever-loving leg…
    And the parent’ll think/say – huh. I remember reading something on FB about how immobilization is bad for you…
    and will go on Fox News to spread her gospel…
    And *then* where will we be?

    Humor is *dangerous*!

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Chris Kaiser aka "Ckemtp"

I am a paramedic trying to advance the idea that the Emergency Medical Services can be made into the profession that we all want it, need it, and know it deserves to be.

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  • Comments
    Jessica Krause
    Stop Feeding the EMS Tee Trolls
    I may take you seriously when you learn proper grammar and spelling. Until then, here's a lesson: It's either 'Don't take it TOO hard' or 'Don't take it To HEART' depending on what you were trying to say.... It's not 'fetal mind' it's 'feeble mind' and 'You're worried not 'your worries' If you are going…
    2015-05-22 18:49:00
    Mark Tyson
    Stop Feeding the EMS Tee Trolls
    Oh your that guy who thinks he stands out above all others in our profession and feels he has "seen the shit" LOL. Your "combat vet" and "20+ years" in EMS make you very suspect simply by how you just presented yourself. How old are you? Its seems those who say they have seen more…
    2015-05-22 18:22:00
    Joe Paczkowski
    Stop Feeding the EMS Tee Trolls
    Apparently someone is wearing them because people keep trying to sell them. I have to imagine if no one was buying them they'd be long gone by now. Am I blaming any of EMS's problems on a t-shirt? No, not by a long shot. However if I saw a medic wearing one of those shirts,…
    2015-05-22 17:58:00
    Stop Feeding the EMS Tee Trolls
    Didn't take long for the usual proverbial dick measuring post to come out. Thanks for your service, but you could use a healthy dose of professionalism. Of course people aren't wearing this garbage at work but if they're still wearing it in public, then it obviously identifies you as EMS. The shit is tacky, and…
    2015-05-22 15:59:00
    Stop Feeding the EMS Tee Trolls
    I spent 30 years as an EMT and I own a paddling shirt( did field testing for AED)plus a DNR t shirt worn only during drinking excursions at EMS conferences. Yup some of those shirts are dumb but what the heck it stimulates someone's economy. But here in the big city we have folks we…
    2015-05-22 15:03:00

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